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    July 27

    什么都想不懂。

    不懂是不是应该妥协对一些瑕疵睁只眼闭只眼,其实我也不明白那东西仅仅是瑕疵还是本质的重要的。以前以为只要心是对的,很多问题都可以克服,现在发现并不是那么简单。也许现在年轻觉得自己机会很多,可以潇洒拥有潇洒放弃。会不会等老了才发现自己缺乏智慧,太过追求完美。到底应该宁缺毋滥,还是应该随遇而安?
    有时候我对未来充满希望,觉得一切皆有可能,还有那么多未知等着我去了解。有时候一想到背负的责任和压力,又望而却步,想永远做个小孩。
    记得几米在躲进世界的角落里写道,世界有很多的漏洞,可是每一个漏洞都有人去修补。如果我们轻易放弃自己应该做的事情,那么世界也会放弃我们。我似乎总是在找那些漏洞,却从来没想过要去修补它们。殊不知漏洞是越找越多的,这样只会让自己觉得越发无力自怨自艾。我还不懂怎样去接受那些不如我所愿的事实,以前的宽心好像随着想法的增多变窄了,对某些事情越来越在乎,明知无法改变。
    以前觉得自己挺好的,品德好,思想好,反正就四有公民,顺便有点上进心。现在觉得没什么稀罕,对别人而言好像有其他东西更值钱,我想价值不是由社会决定的么,那我的价值貌似只有自己肯定。那些可以当饭吃的处事方法,我真的很欠缺。如果这个方面处理不好,读书再多都没有用。
    有些人就是执迷不悟,我想某种程度上我也是的。一贯坚持的价值观,如果不受点彻底的打击,怎么会轻易改变呢。接触的人多了,各说各话,到底站在谁那边?还不是一样会选择自己。这有可能造就一个有想法的人,也有可能从此你就坚持了错误的路线。
    不确定我的坚持对不对,我的放弃对不对。但这也没有绝对的对错吧,上帝把破木门关完了也许还留个水晶窗呢。该犯错时就犯错,我觉得尊重自己的意愿最重要。

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